I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
