New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
