I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
