I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just had sex bonerless
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
