It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
