your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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