Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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