Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
