All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
