Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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