also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
