At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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