If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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