like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
