thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
