Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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