I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
