watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
