It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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