idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
