school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
