Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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