You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
