I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
