somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
