never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
