they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can't turn off my feet"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
