Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
