so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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