Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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