He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize