what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
