Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think i have two assholes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
