I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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