Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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