i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
