Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
