I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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