Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
