Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
