But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
