Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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