I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
