i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
