I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
