There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
