I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize