8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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