my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
