you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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