the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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