i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
