I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize