you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
