He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
