Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The ass gains better be worth it
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