You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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