Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
