It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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