You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
