Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
