I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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