I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
