Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
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