I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
