im six kinds of drunk right now
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
